Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
