I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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