So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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