i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
