He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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