I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
