dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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