If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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