Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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