hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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