so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Drake has all the answers
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
