Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
