I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
