Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize