that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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