I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
