My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
