Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
