I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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