just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
