help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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