I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
