I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
