Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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