He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
