So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
