I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
