im having a threesome with these popsicles
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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