You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
