I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
