dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We talked him into tasing himself.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
