you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
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