allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
