Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
