Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
