Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
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I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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