I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
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Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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