He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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