you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
