I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
What did we do last night that was yellow?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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