It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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