i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
