Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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