2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
