At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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