Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I need water and some morals
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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