Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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