I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
