ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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