OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
