so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
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You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
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She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize