thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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