the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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