know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
