I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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