I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
