The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
