grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
