maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
