i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
