so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
