You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think I am morally bankrupt
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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