Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
