College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
