I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Found your dick twin last night
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize