Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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