Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
