i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
