hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
