dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
