Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
